Deartest Daughter,

While going through some boxes, I found something I wrote a long time ago – in about 1992. I thought you might like to read it.

The Heart —

What happens when you have a broken heart?

I never thought my grandfather would have known about heartbreak, but when I was going through a painful time in 1978, my grandma shared this poem of his, with me:

I walked a mile with happiness,
She chattered all the way.
But I was none the wiser,
For what she had to say.

I walked a mile with sorrow,
And not a word said she,
But, oh, the things I learned,
When sorrow walked with me.

There are good things we can learn from sorrow: experience, self-control, compassion, understanding, love, steadfastness, tenderness, non-judgement, sensitivity to others.

There are also not so good things we can learn from sorrow: bitterness, fear, anger, cover-up, over-sensitivity, distrust, resentment.

We determine what we learn…. but it takes time.

What happens with heart break?
Someone told me once that it’s good to remember that the feelings you feel are normal and everyone who suffers sorrow through a crisis, feels the same feelings, some if not all — more or less.

There is a “limbo” stage — a feeling of numbness or literal soreness. This can last for days, for months, for years, and can re-occur when you’re reminded of the situation. Everyone experiences set-backs.

Sometimes we become over-sensitive, and we over-react. We pre-judge things and assume intentions — possibly missing the blessings creation is giving us through others. We wonder who am I? Where is “God”? Why did this happen to me? We become pre-occupied with the pain to where it can dominate our lives. It can cause us to continue to make bad decisions. A spiraling.

How do we overcome? Gather a good choice of friends around you. Friends that won’t let you wallow. Sometimes they will anger you; other times you’ll mess up again. But, true friends will always care.

It’s like hiking up a steep hill… when you get to the crest, you have to step over to the other side — all on your own. You have to let the feelings, emotions fall behind you. Oh, you may slip and slide, trip and fall — but eventually you have to decide to take the chance at living again, without the open wounds; holding the good memories close to your heart.

Once it happens, truly happens, it’s like a light switch, a shifting of focus – a new paradigm. The good things that come from sorrow begin to come to life. And, eventually you will not “need” so much, and you’ll be ready to “give.”

The vibration, the energy, the love that is God, knows what we feel. Jesus felt what we feel. Though circumstances are different, thousands and thousands of examples of sorrow in people’s lives, yet the feelings are the same. He felt them, too. The scriptures are not “Christian,” they are enlightened words that teach us about how we’re put together; spiritually how we’re made.

“Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

“Create in me a pure heart, Oh God, and renew a steadfast Spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing Spirit to sustain me.” Psalm 51:12

“I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of God, “Oh Lord, save me.” Psalm 116:3-4

Grandpa knew that when we get past the sorrow, we can recognize our deeper self.

I love you so much,

Mom