In this world, some people, unfortunately, are taught they are wretched. If we believe that, then we can harbor shame and indifference because we now think we are not worthy.
My father was a wonderful, truly Christian man. He was also a professor devoted to all students and people. He believed as Christians we have a responsibility to work out our own salvation, to not judge others but instead to love one another, no matter who they are. He taught that “God” is Spirit IN each of us, that we are the light of the world, we are reverently and wonderfully made and that we need nothing to be who we are Called to be – for Creator has given us everything we need if we believe it.
Dad embraced people of all races, genders and religions, and he believed God’s love was big enough to reach everyone, no matter what they professed. He didn’t claim to know everything. He was a sweet spirit. He feared nothing and he was adventurous, he got out of his comfort zone and he was never afraid of vulnerability.
His life showed me something about what it takes to reach for a Dream. First and foremost, it takes courage with our whole Being. It takes sincere compassion to truly Love one another. It takes truth and openness with others, hard or easy, to recognize our own true self. It takes accepting vulnerability to stay the course in Faith. Sometimes we can get to a very low point when the only thing that saves us are just two words… keep walking.
When I went to California on my Sacajawea journey, by myself, leaving my husband to work at home, I did not know what to expect. I didn’t know where I was going to stay long-term, I didn’t know who I was going to meet. I didn’t know how to make a movie. My daughter was there and that was important, but I didn’t have any answers.
On my way to LA I stopped for a couple of weeks in San Francisco to do a project. From Washington to the San Francisco turn-off, I counted 59 hawks, eagles and ravens that crossed directly over my car – I thought that was fascinating and very unusual. After the two weeks, I drove back to I-5. I was tempted to turn left (north) on the freeway, and just go back home because I was scared, sad and lonely. I missed my husband.
As I sat there contemplating, I looked right and left, right and left, and then I looked farther to the right and something caught my eye. There was a hawk sitting on a fence, looking straight at me. Then he turned his head right (south) and looked back at me. At that very moment, I told him out loud, “Okay, I will trust you…” and I turned right toward LA, in Faith. I came to know, the hawks, eagles and ravens on my path were not just fascinating, they were and are Spiritual.
We must be willing to pour everything out, get out-of-the-way, become vulnerable, because then, and only then can we listen and hear our true Calling. Being imperfect does not mean we are unworthy. We are absolutely worthy, and we can believe that, because Creator has gifted us a powerful vision, a purpose and a dream. Some of the many messages I heard while in LA were: “We don’t know everything, but everything is known.” “We must be willing to go to the edge of the cliff and take a step in Faith.” “Eyes turned only toward self, are eyes that cannot see.”
During my two years in California, I did experience sadness and disappointment, for a time I struggled with heartache, not able to get a breath and tearful. But also, I experienced gratitude, thankfulness and great joy – for Moon Drake was born there and Sacajawea evolved into a story about her beautiful spirit. It was an awakening, and I will never be the same. It was my 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness.
If there’s one thing I know, no matter what religion or belief you have, there’s a reason for the dream in your heart. And your life is the ultimate gift, for through it your unstoppable imagination unfolds, proving you are worthy and have everything you need to reach your dream! But you must choose to believe it.
Here is one of my poems from my writings in California:
Our first step is accepting, in faith,
that we HAVE a purpose.
Then we are moved to remember
what we are here to KNOW…
We can choose to rise to it by
falling and climbing,
doubting and believing,
rejecting and accepting,
with fear and with courage…
Indeed, by embracing the dark and the light,
until we finally remember –
Our true purpose has always been
~ Spirit Wind